Touch or Don't Touch
by Your Lady Logan
Summary: Gentech, the pharmaceutical company has discovered a vaccine for the all mutant genes. Marie, who wants desperately to change her life is caught in the middle. Will she accept the way of the cure, or stay the way she is?


Touch, or Don't Touch

Mutation is a disease and I am ugly, Marie thought to herself. She stood in front of her armoire looking at herself in the mirror. This girl looking back at her was not Marie, it was a killer. The first boy she had ever kissed ended up in coma for three weeks, sucked the life source right out of him, all it took was one peck on the lips.  
The first day Marie had come to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, she lay in her bed the first night, listening to the grunts of a mysterious stranger down the hall. She wandered into his room and attempted to wake him, "Logan," she said shaking his shoulder. "Logan, wake up, it's Marie." All of a sudden the burly, husky man in the bed woke with a start. He withdrew three nine-inch claws from his right hand and stabbed Marie right through the chest. With such force and sudden timing, Marie gulped for air. She stood lifeless, hanging on his claws, she was trying to breathe. Her chest was collapsing, the last moment she had, she looked Logan in the eye. Logan took a double take and realized what he had just done. He shook the claws back into his hands and trembled, "someone help!" he hollered. Marie was fading fast, each breath she attempted to take was more suffocating. With her last ounce of energy, she ungloved her covered hand and touched his face. She saw the life in Logan's eyes dim, the color of his skin drained, and scars of the past appeared on his face (since Logan's mutation allowed him to heal from any wound, gunshot or paper cut). Marie felt her heartbeat come back, dum, dadum, dum, dadum. She was healing while Logan was dying, slowly. When Marie was fully restored, her hand left his face. And like a puppet, Logan fell onto the floor like a pile of bricks…

Marie shook the memory from her head. She closed her eyes, to drain the gruesome images of nearly killing people that she loved, when of course she didn't mean to. When she opened her eyes, she still saw that girl in the mirror. Though not lethal from appearance, she became lethal as soon as you laid a finger on her. No wonder why her mutant name was Rogue because her powers made her appear evil, which of course she wasn't. Marie felt more disgusted with herself as she thought of her name, Rogue. Could there be a more horrific name? …She didn't think so. While she stood there with the ability to suck the life source out of people, she was just a regular seventeen year old girl trying to find her place in the world. A non-brooding type, Marie stood at a slender 5'6" , a square face she had. With big promising chocolate eyes, a slight ski-jumped nose and long flowing hair, with one section of hair bleached in a platinum blonde which kept falling in front of her eyes. She was an ordinary looking individual, yet she was the most dangerous.

Marie's stream of consciousness was interrupted when she heard a knock at the door. She shook a little bit to get back into reality, "come in," she said. She quickly rushed to the armoire, picked up her hair brush and starting to brush her hair, so that she looked like she was doing something instead of standing strangely in the middle of her room. The door opened.  
"Oh, hey Bobby," Marie greeted.  
"Hey, can I come in?"  
"Yeah, sure. Just the shut the door, if you don't mind."  
Bobby did as Marie asked. He then turned around to see her, standing, looking at herself quizzically.  
"Are you alright? You didn't show at breakfast."  
"Yeah, yeah," she said shrugging, with a hint of doubt in her face. "Just didn't feel well."  
"Professor Xavier sent me in here to see if you were ok."  
"I am."  
Bobby didn't say anything. He sensed something was happening, something about this girl he loved.  
"Really, Marie, are you okay?" he asked taking a step closer.  
"Yes, Bobby, I am fine. Why are you worrying so much?"  
"I'm not. Well…I guess I am. I'm seeing less and less of you every day. You barely come to class. I don't see you at—"  
"I'm coming down with something."  
"You surely don't look sick," Bobby justified.  
"Kinda. Listen," she said turning to him. "I am quite old enough to take care of myself, I am not your baby."  
"You are my girlfriend and I will suggest what is right for you, you don't have to take up what I say but I want you to listen and consider."  
Marie shot a glare at him. She got her gloves on as fast as she could, and attempted to walk out. Bobby stood in the way, blocking access to the door. Marie dodged him by ducking under his outstretched arms. She flung open the door and rushed out. "Wait!" she heard Bobby call. But she kept walking at a quickened pace, she was not going to deal with someone telling her what to do. She had been isolated for some time now, she didn't need more restriction put on her shoulders. She heard running footsteps behind her,  
"Marie, wait!"  
She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face Bobby.  
"What do you want from me?" she asked, holding out her hands.  
"I want…I want," he tried to catch his breath in between words. "For you to be happy."  
"Happy?" she said mockingly. "How is it possible to be happy when I can't touch people and I know that I can kill them!"  
"We can be happy," Bobby suggested.  
"No we can't. We can't be a normal couple Bobby," she said looking at him square in the eye. "After two years that we've been together, I haven't even kissed you."  
"That's ok. I have no regrets," he said sympathetically.  
"Well I do. Did you ever just take a minute to consider what it might feel like to be me for a minute? Have you ever felt the isolation of not being able to touch others, just because there is a risk of death? Well it's there. I cannot just take a simple hug from anyone, whether that be you, my family or my friends. This power, this disease, I have is a barrier that keeps me away from all the people I love, including you Bobby. But this relationship is not going to grow if we can't do anything together. Have you ever taken a moment to wonder what it would be like to be?' she could the feel the tears push in her eyes. "Have you?!" she yelled.  
"No," Bobby said looking at the ground. "I'm sorry, I haven't."  
"I thought so."  
She shrugged him off and ran down the corridor and out of sight. There were fellow classmates who were witnessing this argument but it was the least interest of Marie. She was an outcast on all accounts, she couldn't have felt more secluded. Finally, Marie found a quiet corner, slinked into it and let all her emotions pour through.  
Her heart ached for the desire for physical contact. She hadn't been touched lovingly ever since she was an infant. Her parents were freaked as were her friends and a couple of the boys she loved. She had kissed that one boy when she lived in Michigan who ended up in the hospital for three weeks, from severe trauma of a near death experience. Possibly no one could live with that guilt under their belt. She was a murderer, at least that's what Marie thought. She hated to be considered as a life taker but she was. No one wonder she was called Rogue.  
Marie shook in the corner, her shoulders shaking with every wheeze of a cry. In this corner, she felt safe. She was away from the world until that stopped and Logan appeared.  
"Hey kid," he said.  
Marie's bloodshot eyes looked at Logan. She wiped her eyes, tousled her hair.  
"Hey," she said with a shaky voice.   
"Boyfriend problems?" he said kneeling beside her, his back resting on the wall.  
"No," she said shaking her head.  
"Yeah, there is somethin'."  
"Fine, how do you know?"  
"I can hear everything."  
"Ha! Well I guess that's no surprise."  
She readjusted her sitting position and drew her legs out.  
"I'm sorry," Logan said after a while.  
"That's a surprise coming, from you. You're barely sorry about anything."  
"I hate to see you in such turmoil."  
"God, don't tell me things you don't mean!"  
"I am not," Logan stated firmly. "I don't care for most kids in this school, they're all just a bunch of pip squeaks. But there something about you, that day when I found you in the back of my truck, I knew there was something special."  
"Come on, you almost left me to die out there in that below zero degree weather."  
"No, I didn't. I said for you to come back in. And I meant what I say."  
Marie took a moment to step back. When Logan got impatient, you didn't want to provoke it any further. Otherwise those claws would come out and mess with you.  
"I'm sorry. But what is special about me?" she asked.  
"I'll tell ya but let's get out of this corner. Come on," he held out his massive hand.  
Marie hoisted herself up. Both she and Logan stepped into the school's courtyard, off down the path there was a soft patter of a basketball being played, shouts heard. The midday sun was sinking off into the hills, a golden light cast upon the plants making them glow golden instead of their natural green. Logan's long legs were a few paces head of Marie's, as they walked on the path. It took a minute or so to reach the school's lake. Logan wiped a seat for himself on a rock, Marie took a seat nearby him.  
"So what is special about me?" she asked for a second time.  
"It's your way of knowing who you are. Not many do, and that's a rare thing."  
"But Logan, knowing who I am is not going to help me with this problem that I have."  
"What problem?"  
"My mutation."  
"Marie, everyone at Xavier's school is a mutant. That's why you're here. Look at Pyro, the kid can't go anywhere without having the intention of burning something down. Your boyfriend Bobby, he's Iceman. No one is ordinary around here, unless you're human."  
"But I want to be that," Marie said wantingly.  
"Be like the rest of the shitty world?!" he said madly. "No, Your mutation makes you unique. There's isn't anyone like you out there."  
"I don't want to be—"  
"Be what?!"  
"This. This girl who can…"  
"What?"  
"Kill."  
The word "kill" created a paralyzing moment of silence between Logan and Marie. He sat there looking at her, while she looked out onto the lake. He saw so much happening within her, her desire to be held for a moment in time, with compassion, a moment that was hers. A swell of compassion appeared in him, which was rare for Logan, who was a troubled soul himself.  
Logan got up from his spot and took a seat near Marie. As soon as Logan put his arm around her, he felt Marie crumple. She cried but Logan held her securely. He wanted to let her know she wasn't going anywhere to run away from this problem because to some extent, everyone who was a mutant had to deal with their indifference. The co existence between humans and mutants was a rough one, mutants appeared to be criminals just because of one mishap in their DNA. But the human race had to recognize that this other race of people was not dangerous, they were just different.  
Marie's crying eased after many moments. She could still feel that secure embrace from Logan, this is where she wanted to be. In the presence of another being, holding her, loving her.  
There was a beep from a pager. Logan fumbled through his pocket, and pulled out one. He glanced at the number.  
"The mansion is calling. Probably the professor. We should head back."  
Marie collected her bearings and both of them walked back.

Logan led the way into the office, with Marie following. There waiting was the recognized Professor Xavier, and the rest of the X-Men team, Storm and Scott. Marie took a seat on the leather couch, between Storm and Scott. "Hi sweetie," Storm greeted under her breath. Marie smiled. Scott gave her a playful nudge on the shoulder.  
"Hello Marie," greeted Professor Xavier. "How are you?"  
"Oh, I am fine. Thank you, Professor."  
The professor gave her a genuine smile.  
"So I was paged," Logan interrupted. "What's up?"  
"The U.S. government has just confirmed a cure for all mutants."  
"A cure?" Logan said puzzled.  
"Yes, the privately owned pharmaceutical company Gentech has just discovered a way to cure mutation," the Professor said.  
"There was just a whole thing on TV. The president had a press conference. Vaccinations have been shipped over the last thirty eight hours or so. At every state hospital, all mutants are obliged to come," Storm informed.  
"Shit," said Logan under his breath. "This is bad. What are we going to do with the kids?"  
"Well, we can't just shoot them with a chemical," Scott said. "We need to notify parents as to what to do."  
"Yeah, like that'll work," Logan said sarcastically. "You expect to contact 150 parents in the next hour or so and ask them what we should with their kids? You'll surely get through."  
"It was only a suggestion," Scott shot back.  
"A lame one."  
"Men," Professor Xavier broke the dispute.  
"This is the craziest thing I ever heard," Logan said.  
"Maybe we need to recognize that this may be a new step for peaceful co existence," said the professor.  
"No, it'll only make matters worse," Storm chimed in. "There is nothing wrong with me, or with us for that matter. There'll only be more hatred, more corruption. They are trying to heal something that is a natural way of life."  
"Agreed," Logan said.  
"Yet again," the professor opposed. "I have been spending all years of my life, all seventy two years trying to find my way through this problem, and now it just so happens that the other side has found a resolution."  
"It's not a resolution," Storm said.  
"At least it's a way to stop some of the troubles between humans and mutants."  
"It's not!" Logan and Storm both said.  
"I at least think it is, now I'm not saying I am in favor of this new cause. I just wanted to bring all of you in here to see what we should do."  
"I think this is crazy," Logan said.  
"Wise-ass," Scott coughed.  
"Shut-up, one eye."  
"Boys!" Storm said losing it.  
"Sorry," said Scott, gaining his composure.  
"What shall we do with the children? The school?" asked Storm.  
"For now, I think we should send the children home. Resume the semester after this craziness has settled. And leave it up to the parents as to what to do," the professor confirmed. "Scott and Storm start making rounds, Logan I want you to start telling students to pack their belongings, they should be here out here in the next twenty four hours. I'll contact administration to arrange for buses and the purchase of tickets."  
With that said, Scott and Storm got up. They walked out. Marie slinked out and followed. She headed to her room.  
She had just found her answer. This cure could clear all problems. She could touch another being without doing any harm. This was her opportunity to make something of herself that she'd always wanted to become. A surge of excitement grew within her for the first time, in a long time. And it was a feeling, for once, that Marie appreciated.  
She got her clothes and suitcase out. Cleared off the armoire that was covered with her toiletries, cleaned the bathroom or the next person who might reside in this room, showered and got herself into a new pair of clothes. A fresh beginning lay ahead of her, and nothing could stop her. Just as her packing was coming to an end, she heard her door open, it was Logan.  
"What are you doing?"  
"I'm not missing this for the world, Logan. It's finally something that has come along that I can feel happy about and have no regrets."  
"What do you regret?"  
"Me, right now. This thing that I am, this killer, this rogue. I don't want to live the rest of my life knowing I have the ability to snatch lives away from others. What a thing to live with," she turned back to her suitcase.  
"Wait," Logan said taking a step into the room. "Think about what you're doing. If you get this, this cure," he said with a growly snarl. "You're leaving something behind that you will regret."  
"Yeah, and what would that be?"  
"It may sound cheesy, but it's who you are. Why be like every one when you can be you?"  
"The way I want to be is to be free of this burden."  
"What about your race, the mutant race? You'll be betraying us all if you go running about and getting injected with that crap."  
"My intention is not to betray anyone. I want to do this for myself."  
"Either way, whether you go for this shitty procedure or not, you make a sacrifice. You can stay a mutant and not have the ability to feel contact, or you can get it and not be the thing that you once were, and not stay with a group that supports you."  
Marie listened. Logan was right. Either way she swung she was going to have to make a sacrifice. If she did not go for the cure, she would be stuck with this guilty conscience for the rest of her life, and continue to live in this isolation that she has forever been in. However, there was a positive side—she had made a life for herself here at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, she had a loving relationship with Bobby who really did care for her, she had every convience at her use—three meals a day, a roof above her head, a free education. Most of all, she had Logan, a friend, a fatherly figure, a confidant with whom she shared so much with. With whom she fit perfectly with. Together they made a mold, a solid structure that was so strong. What would Marie do if she ran away and never had Logan's gruff guidance of life? She would not be the same Marie.  
She would however be a different Marie if she went the way of the cure. A new life that would allow opportunities she'd never had. She could go about, shake hands, hand a person their money if it was dropped. There wouldn't be that feeling anymore. Her life would be free of this burden. But the sacrifice that would be made here, is leaving that life behind she'd made at the school. Leaving a sense of betrayal behind to the rest of her kind—almost saying that she didn't want to be one of them. There was a sense of wanting to keep the life she had now, so that she would not have to be out there in the world alone, at the ripe age of seventeen, there were people in this mansion, such as Logan who was the only one that cared for her so much. She couldn't find that again in the real world, Marie was torn, what was she going to do?  
Logan leaned against her door, looking at her. She stood there, feeling put on the spot. She felt like a child who had made a bad decision. He was starting to get impatient; he glanced out into the hallway, then back at Marie.  
So, kid, what are you doin'?" Logan said more calmly than Marie had thought.  
"I don't know."  
"Well, I'm not gonna tell ya what to do, I'm not your Pops. This is a decision concerning you, not me. I will say this," he said straightening his posture, it took him a moment to continue; he cleared his throat. "I will always love the Marie that I found that day in the back of my truck, you've given me something that I thought was never possible. A gift possibly… geez, I sound like a sass."  
Logan dug his toe into the wood floor, feeling uncomfortable with what he just said, that coming from such a gruff guy like him was so unlikely.  
"No, no you don't," Marie said tearing up.  
"I've just learned to love again," Logan said looking at her.  
A pang rattled Marie's heart. Here was the toughest, most brooding guy saying that he had been given one of the best gifts of all, love. Marie looked at Logan through glassy eyes, she saw him take a step outside the doorway.  
"Whatever decision you make is fine. You can meet me in the kitchen, if you're staying. I'll have a soda waitin' for ya."  
With that, Logan pivoted on his heel and lingered out of her sight. Marie was left in her room, her suitcase ajar, and a melancholy emptiness in her room.  
It didn't take her a moment of hesitation for her to reach her final decision. She quickly turned to her suitcase, dumped all its contents out onto the bed, headed for her door, locked it, and ran in the direction of the kitchen.

8


End file.
